The rays of the embering sunlight gently filtered through her hair as she walked. By the rustle of the trees, the breeze picked up, encircling her feet with leafy golden spirals, as if she would bring them back to life. Her hands lay hidden deep inside the pockets of her navy overcoat, and she moved with the silent confidence that a life without me had given her.

As I drew close beside her, we watched the dying day cast its final breath of warmth upon us, the faintest stars beginning to appear from behind the distant towers. A cloud of hot vapour emerged from her lips and rose like a cloud of thought as she looked on. Before our feet, two red squirrels darted across the road and into the undergrowth, making her break into a sweet smile, that fleeting, innocent thing I had not seen in some time. And so I almost smiled back. 

For here, between the shadows of quivering branches, we stood far beyond the walls of the concrete prison. In a place where we could appreciate our parallels in creation by the perfect strokes of The Artist’s loving brush, as if the world and time themselves were made just for us.

As the eve grew colder and she stepped away, her graceful silhouette was cast upon the glow of approaching night like the evergreen cypress. My mind fell upon those nights of hopeful solace, and the countless ghazals I would read to her by my imaginary side. The many words that bled from my pen, trying to recoup but an atom’s weight of what she meant to me.

Sable locks spilled over her shoulder as she turned to face me, with those wide eyes that held a thousand secrets and one in their darkness. Hidden deep within lay the fading scars of tears which had once fallen for me, but no longer, just as the branch has nothing left to shed with the onset of Winter. I tried to enter those eyes as I once did, but her sibylline gaze quietly avoided my capture, her windows shut away from unwanted guests. And I feared that I had now become one of them.

My pulse hastened, as I felt the words fighting for contention within my breast to escape first. Words which despised one another and had been confined for too long, ceaselessly pulling at my throat and sealing together my lips. So many a longing night I had been in this moment, watching the elements bow and become one with her beauty. For in those months of yearning distance, during the lifetimes we hadn’t shared, we had grown cold and wise as the time passed us by. 

The charming girl I once knew was no more than a reflection in my dreaming iris. And the boy whose heart she uncovered stood speechless as he always had done, never telling her how he truly felt. Because he didn’t know which was worse. The fear of leaving his soul in the keep of another, or that he had not the courage to walk away from the only one who tried to understand.

And so we stayed locked in this perpetual stare of uncertainty until the closing light was swallowed whole by the horizon. I recounted how I used to cruise upon my mind’s oceans, Iman blowing in my sails to carry me through the currents of solitude. But as I watched her walk away toward the city, I knew the blissful shore we so tirelessly sought continued to elude us. 

In the shifting silence of the leafy twilight, I closed my eyes and drew a faithful breath. I imagined her childish laugh, her silken whispers and her rosy smile which shattered my prideful bastions. Her every word and lesson flew through the gates and overran the defences. I opened my eyes, my vision fell upon her once again. And through the coursing of the wind, her soulful scent returned loyally to me.

The sweetest, most comforting aroma that would come to my bed when I was ailing and frozen, which warmed and rekindled my spirit, bringing me to my knees in gracious thanks for the life I’d been offered. It traversed a hundred miles to find me when I needed it most, overwhelming me in a moment with every tender memory we had created. Memories of sharing the waning dusk of our youth together in the silent memory of God. 

From the sunset atop the grassy hill,

His first taste of the wine of divine will,

To the golden winter night by the lake,

Where her heart enjoyed a gift of faith.

And, after sharing in their warmest embrace,

The way he disappeared without a trace

He left her to shiver on the empty platform

With only a solemn goodbye to keep her warm.

Every joy and pain that led us to be here together could never be taken back,  nor would I ever wish for it. I wanted them all to remain.

I took her hand and clasped it tightly. She spun around, her perfumed hair falling into her lashes. Softer than air and smoother than water was her touch. One by one, she wrapped my pulsing fingers between her own, and I felt her soul cross over the bridge to my heart. We stood face to face with the destiny The Author had written perfectly for us, my imagination paling in comparison to the wonderment of reality.  The world all around us lost focus, my gaze rested only in one place. It swam amongst the stars, lost in her clear night sky. It was thus my heart spoke in surrender, 

“Would you even believe the words I harbour inside with everything I put you through? With every farewell, every turn of my back. How many times I disappeared and wrenched out my dagger of promises, just to return and deal you a new wound? How careless was I with the care you gave me, and how happily you bade your wings to suffering so I could fly. Without you, that which protects and sustains my soul would have been left to the callous wolves of Self.  But how sweetly do its rivers flow for you tonight. It burns hotter than the blinding sun in search of its companion. It draws me towards you as the darling moon shifts the ocean tide. The worries of the world fall and crackle like the leaves under my boot when I am with you.

There is not a length I wouldn’t go to to make you smile, no end of the vast earth I would not traverse to keep you safe. If I should be granted the honour of your soul in my keep, you shall be free to roam the silky night skies, riding upon the wings you have given me.

Does the feeling scare you?

Perhaps.

Should you run away?

Maybe I should.

Life would certainly be easier.

And you may be better off without me.

But along this winding and wonderful path you took me on,

I could never go back to the wayward way I came.

For I now stand at the heights of Life itself,

With you at my side and the world at our feet.

So will you take my hand and leap faithfully into the unseen,

Rejoicing with me upon the pages of this divine tale,

For who are we but two Lovers in a timeless miniature?

Chapters in the illustrious epic of the world,

Surrounded by our sweet ghazals and holy verse?

We know not what The Author has planned for our next chapter,

So come, turn the page with me!

For you are the ornament of my dreams,

The loyal subject of my prayers,

How you slew the guardians of my heart,

And entered silently into its deepest chamber.

What was once a fortress,

Has become your home.

I pray you will treat it as your own.

For every tearful prayer that you read,

The unconditional blood your heart shed.

A lifetime with you could never repay my love.

So let it be with Eternity instead.”

End